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Moed Katan 23

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Summary

Today’s daf is dedicated by Debbie Gevir and her husband Yossi, in memory of Shimon ben Feiga Rayzel and Chaim Aryeh who passed away just as last Shabbat ended. “My uncle Shimmy was brilliant and talented with a strong love for Judaism, classical music, boating…and a great zest for life. He chose a different path than his orthodox family, becoming a prominent Reform Rabbi. He and his wife Judy -שתיבדל לחיים ארוכים always remained ever so respectful loving and close to his parents, sister- my mother, and to us. I already miss you, Uncle Shimmy and will always treasure the time we spent together throughout my life.” 

Today’s daf is sponsored by Amy Goldstein in loving memory of her father, Melvyn Sydney Goldstein, on his 2nd yahrzeit. “We miss him. He was taken from us too swiftly. May his neshama have an aliyah.”

What are the rules of mourning for the community when a nasi dies? When a mourner finishes shiva, what are the stages one goes through week by week gradually getting life back to normal? How long after one’s wife dies can one remarry? On what does it depend? One doesn’t wear ironed clothes during shloshim. What clothes are included/not included in this prohibition? There is a debate about whether private mourning practices can be observed on Shabbat. How does each one prove his opinion from the wording of the Mishna? Is this debate between Amoraim also a tannaitic debate between the rabbis and Rabban Gamliel?

Moed Katan 23

וְקוֹרִין שִׁבְעָה, וְיוֹצְאִין. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן קׇרְחָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא שֶׁיֵּלְכוּ וִיטַיְּילוּ בַּשּׁוּק, אֶלָּא יוֹשְׁבִין וְדָוִוין.

and seven people read from the Torah. And then they leave and pray on their own. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korḥa says: It is not that they stroll afterward in the marketplace, but rather they sit at home in silent mourning.

וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל. אָמְרוּ עָלָיו עַל רַבִּי חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל שֶׁהָיָה אוֹמֵר שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל.

And furthermore, one may not speak about halakha or aggada in a house of mourning, as this is an activity that brings people joy. It was said of Rabbi Ḥananya ben Gamliel that he would speak about halakha and aggada in a house of mourning.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁנִיָּה — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, רְבִיעִית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

§ The Sages taught the following baraita: During the first week after his bereavement, the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. During the second week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the third week, he may sit in his usual place but he may not speak. During the fourth week, he is like any other person.

רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא הוּצְרְכוּ לוֹמַר שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה לֹא יֵצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַכֹּל נִכְנָסִין לְבֵיתוֹ לְנַחֲמוֹ. אֶלָּא: שְׁנִיָּה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, רְבִיעִית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, חֲמִישִׁית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

Rabbi Yehuda says: They did not need to say that during the first week the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. This teaches us nothing new, as at that time everyone goes into his house to console him. Rather, during the second week, he may not go out of the opening of his house. During the third week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the fourth week, he may sit in his usual place, but he may not speak. During the fifth week, he is like any other person.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לַנִּישּׂוּאִין. מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ — אָסוּר לִישָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ עָלָיו שְׁלֹשָׁה רְגָלִים. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: רֶגֶל רִאשׁוֹן וְשֵׁנִי — אָסוּר, שְׁלִישִׁי — מוּתָּר.

§ The Sages taught another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to marry. If one’s wife died, it is prohibited to marry another wife until three Festivals pass since her death. Rabbi Yehuda says: Until the first and second Festivals have passed, he is prohibited from marrying; before the third Festival, however, he is permitted to do so.

וְאִם אֵין לוֹ בָּנִים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִשּׁוּם בִּיטּוּל פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה. הִנִּיחָה לוֹ בָּנִים קְטַנִּים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִפְּנֵי פַרְנָסָתָן.

And if he does not have children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately due to the need to not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. Since he has not yet fulfilled the mitzva of procreation, he is still required to marry a wife. Any delay might result in a lost opportunity for marriage. Similarly, if his wife died and left him young children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately, so that she might take care of them.

מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁמֵּתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל יוֹסֵף הַכֹּהֵן, וְאָמַר לַאֲחוֹתָהּ בְּבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת: לְכִי וּפַרְנְסִי אֶת בְּנֵי אֲחוֹתֵךְ, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן לֹא בָּא עָלֶיהָ אֶלָּא לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה. מַאי לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם.

There was an incident when the wife of Yosef the Priest died, and he said to her sister at the cemetery immediately after the funeral: Go and care for your sister’s children. In other words, he alluded that he wished to marry her immediately. But even though he married her immediately, he did not engage in sexual relations with her for a long time afterward. The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the term: A long time? Rav Pappa said: After thirty days.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לְגִיהוּץ, אֶחָד כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים וְאֶחָד כֵּלִים יְשָׁנִים יוֹצְאִין מִתּוֹךְ הַמַּכְבֵּשׁ. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים בִּלְבָד. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים לְבָנִים בִּלְבָד.

§ The Sages taught yet another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to wear ironed garments, whether they are new garments or old garments taken out of the press, as ironed garments appear to be new. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi disagrees and says: The Sages prohibited wearing only new garments. Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, says: They prohibited wearing only new white garments.

אַבָּיֵי נָפֵיק בִּגְרָדָא דְסַרְבָּלָא כְּרַבִּי. רָבָא נָפֵיק בְּחִימּוּצְתָּא רוֹמִיתָא סוּמַּקְתָּא חַדְתִּי כְּרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן.

The Gemara relates that Abaye went out while he was in mourning in an old white garment, in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi. Rava, on the other hand, went out in a new, red Roman cloak, as he acted in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon.

מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמְרוּ: שַׁבָּת עוֹלָה וְאֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת. בְּנֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְנֵי גָלִילָא. הָנֵי אָמְרִי:

It was taught in the mishna: This is because the Sages said that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, but it does not interrupt the mourning period, which continues after Shabbat. It is stated that with regard to mourning on Shabbat, there is a difference in practice between the residents of Judea and the residents of the Galilee. These say:

יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וְהָנֵי אָמְרִי: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת.

There is some mourning on Shabbat, i.e., with regard to mourning rites that can be observed privately in the mourner’s home and will go unnoticed by other people; whereas those say: There is no mourning on Shabbat at all.

מַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״. מַאן דְּאָמַר אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara explains: The ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat rely on that which is taught, that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that some degree of mourning applies on that day. The ones who said that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all base this on that which is taught that Shabbat does not interrupt the mourning period.

אִי סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הַשְׁתָּא אֲבֵילוּת נָהֲגָא, אַפְסוֹקֵי מִיבַּעְיָא?

The latter argue as follows: If it should enter your mind to say that there is some mourning on Shabbat, there is a difficulty, for now that it has been stated that actual mourning applies on Shabbat, is it necessary to teach us that this day does not interrupt the mourning period? Rather, the conclusion must be that there is no mourning on Shabbat whatsoever.

וְאֶלָּא הָא קָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״! אַיְּידֵי דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״אֵינָן עוֹלִים״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״עוֹלָה״.

The Gemara asks: But isn’t it taught in the mishna that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that it is just like the other days of mourning, and at least some mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: Since the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the days of a Festival do not count toward the requisite days of mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, although no mourning rites are practiced on it.

וּלְמַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הָא קָתָנֵי אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת! מִשּׁוּם דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״מַפְסִיקִין״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara asks: And according to the ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat, isn’t it taught in the mishna that it does not interrupt the mourning period, which would have been unnecessary to say if the mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: This was not necessary for itself, but due to the fact that the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the Festivals interrupt the mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat does not interrupt it.

לֵימָא כְּתַנָּאֵי: מִי שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — אוֹכֵל בְּבַיִת אַחֵר. אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת אַחֵר — אוֹכֵל בְּבֵית חֲבֵרוֹ, אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת חֲבֵרוֹ — עוֹשֶׂה לוֹ מְחִיצָה עֲשָׂרָה טְפָחִים. אֵין לוֹ דָּבָר לַעֲשׂוֹת מְחִיצָה — מַחְזִיר פָּנָיו וְאוֹכֵל.

The Gemara asks: Let us say that this is parallel to a dispute between tanna’im with regard to whether or not some mourning rites are observed even on Shabbat, for it was taught in a baraita: One whose deceased relative is laid out before him eats in another room. If he does not have another room, he eats in the house of a friend. If he does not have a friend’s house available, he makes a partition ten handbreadths high between him and the deceased, so that he may eat. If he does not have material with which to make a partition, he averts his face from the dead and eats.

וְאֵינוֹ מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וְאֵין מְבָרֵךְ וְאֵין מְזַמֵּן, וְאֵין מְבָרְכִין עָלָיו וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וּפָטוּר מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה וּמִן הַתְּפִילִּין, וּמִכׇּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה.

And in any case, he does not recline while he eats, as reclining is characteristic of a festive meal; and he neither eats meat nor drinks wine; and he does not recite a blessing before eating to exempt others from their obligation; and he does not recite the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and they do not recite a blessing over him nor do others invite him to join in the Grace after Meals, as he cannot be a member of the three required to recite the formula. And he is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from the Amida prayer, and from donning phylacteries, and from performing all of the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

וּבְשַׁבָּת — מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וּמְבָרֵךְ וּמְזַמֵּן, וּמְבָרְכִין וּמְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וְחַיָּיב בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּבִתְפִילָּה וּבִתְפִילִּין, וּבְכׇל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה. רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר: מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁנִּתְחַיֵּיב בְּאֵלּוּ — נִתְחַיֵּיב בְּכוּלָּן.

But on Shabbat he reclines at the meal, as per his custom, and eats; and he eats meat and drinks wine; and he recites blessings to exempt others from their obligation; and he recites the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and others may recite blessings on his behalf and invite him to join in the Grace after Meals. And he is also obligated in the recitation of Shema, and in the Amida prayer, and in the mitzva of phylacteries, and in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah. Rabban Gamliel says: Since he is obligated to fulfill these mitzvot associated with Shabbat, he is obligated to fulfill all of the mitzvot on Shabbat.

וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: תַּשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה אִיכָּא בֵּינַיְיהוּ.

Rabban Gamliel’s statement is vague. The following clarifies it: Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The practical difference between them, the opinion of the anonymous first tanna and Rabbi Yoḥanan’s opinion, is with regard to sexual relations. According to Rabban Gamliel, the acute mourner is obligated in the mitzva to engage in marital intercourse with his wife on Shabbat, just as he is obligated in all the other mitzvot.

מַאי לָאו בְּהָא קָא מִיפַּלְגִי, דְּמָר סָבַר: יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וּמַר סָבַר: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת!

The Gemara asks: What, is it not with regard to this issue that they disagree: Is it not that one Sage, the anonymous first tanna, holds that there is some mourning on Shabbat with regard to private issues, and therefore the mourner does not engage in sexual relations; and one Sage, Rabban Gamliel, holds that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all?

מִמַּאי? דִּלְמָא עַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר תַּנָּא קַמָּא הָתָם, אֶלָּא מִשּׁוּם דְּמֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּאֵין מֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — לָא.

The Gemara rejects this argument: From where do you reach this conclusion? Perhaps the first tanna is saying that it is prohibited for the grieving relative to engage in sexual relations in the case dealt with only there, because his deceased relative is laid out before him and has not yet been buried. But here, with regard to the period of mourning, when his dead has been buried and is no longer laid out before him, sexual relations are not prohibited.

וְעַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָתָם, דְּאַכַּתִּי לָא חָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּחָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ — הָכִי נָמֵי.

And alternatively, perhaps Rabban Gamliel is saying that the grieving relative is permitted to engage in sexual relations only there, where the halakhot of mourning have not yet taken effect, as mourning begins only after the burial. But here, where the halakhot of mourning have already taken effect, he may also prohibit sexual relations.

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Adina Hagege
Adina Hagege

Zichron Yaakov, Israel

A beautiful world of Talmudic sages now fill my daily life with discussion and debate.
bringing alive our traditions and texts that has brought new meaning to my life.
I am a מגילת אסתר reader for women . the words in the Mishna of מסכת megillah 17a
הקורא את המגילה למפרע לא יצא were powerful to me.
I hope to have the zchut to complete the cycle for my 70th birthday.

Sheila Hauser
Sheila Hauser

Jerusalem, Israel

After experiences over the years of asking to join gemara shiurim for men and either being refused by the maggid shiur or being the only women there, sometimes behind a mechitza, I found out about Hadran sometime during the tail end of Masechet Shabbat, I think. Life has been much better since then.

Madeline Cohen
Madeline Cohen

London, United Kingdom

I started last year after completing the Pesach Sugiyot class. Masechet Yoma might seem like a difficult set of topics, but for me made Yom Kippur and the Beit HaMikdash come alive. Liturgy I’d always had trouble connecting with took on new meaning as I gained a sense of real people moving through specific spaces in particular ways. It was the perfect introduction; I am so grateful for Hadran!

Debbie Engelen-Eigles
Debbie Engelen-Eigles

Minnesota, United States

I started learning Jan 2020 when I heard the new cycle was starting. I had tried during the last cycle and didn’t make it past a few weeks. Learning online from old men didn’t speak to my soul and I knew Talmud had to be a soul journey for me. Enter Hadran! Talmud from Rabbanit Michelle Farber from a woman’s perspective, a mother’s perspective and a modern perspective. Motivated to continue!

Keren Carter
Keren Carter

Brentwood, California, United States

When we heard that R. Michelle was starting daf yomi, my 11-year-old suggested that I go. Little did she know that she would lose me every morning from then on. I remember standing at the Farbers’ door, almost too shy to enter. After that first class, I said that I would come the next day but couldn’t commit to more. A decade later, I still look forward to learning from R. Michelle every morning.

Ruth Leah Kahan
Ruth Leah Kahan

Ra’anana, Israel

When I was working and taking care of my children, learning was never on the list. Now that I have more time I have two different Gemora classes and the nach yomi as well as the mishna yomi daily.

Shoshana Shinnar
Shoshana Shinnar

Jerusalem, Israel

I started learning Dec 2019 after reading “If all the Seas Were Ink”. I found
Daily daf sessions of Rabbanit Michelle in her house teaching, I then heard about the siyum and a new cycle starting wow I am in! Afternoon here in Sydney, my family and friends know this is my sacred time to hide away to live zoom and learn. Often it’s hard to absorb and relate then a gem shines touching my heart.

Dianne Kuchar
Dianne Kuchar

Dover Heights, Australia

I heard the new Daf Yomi cycle was starting and I was curious, so I searched online for a women’s class and was pleasently surprised to find Rabanit Michelle’s great class reviews in many online articles. It has been a splendid journey. It is a way to fill my days with Torah, learning so many amazing things I have never heard before during my Tanach learning at High School. Thanks so much .

Martha Tarazi
Martha Tarazi

Panama, Panama

I decided to give daf yomi a try when I heard about the siyum hashas in 2020. Once the pandemic hit, the daily commitment gave my days some much-needed structure. There have been times when I’ve felt like quitting- especially when encountering very technical details in the text. But then I tell myself, “Look how much you’ve done. You can’t stop now!” So I keep going & my Koren bookshelf grows…

Miriam Eckstein-Koas
Miriam Eckstein-Koas

Huntington, United States

After experiences over the years of asking to join gemara shiurim for men and either being refused by the maggid shiur or being the only women there, sometimes behind a mechitza, I found out about Hadran sometime during the tail end of Masechet Shabbat, I think. Life has been much better since then.

Madeline Cohen
Madeline Cohen

London, United Kingdom

After reading the book, “ If All The Seas Were Ink “ by Ileana Kurshan I started studying Talmud. I searched and studied with several teachers until I found Michelle Farber. I have been studying with her for two years. I look forward every day to learn from her.

Janine Rubens
Janine Rubens

Virginia, United States

I was inspired to start learning after attending the 2020 siyum in Binyanei Hauma. It has been a great experience for me. It’s amazing to see the origins of stories I’ve heard and rituals I’ve participated in my whole life. Even when I don’t understand the daf itself, I believe that the commitment to learning every day is valuable and has multiple benefits. And there will be another daf tomorrow!

Khaya Eisenberg
Khaya Eisenberg

Jerusalem, Israel

Having never learned Talmud before, I started Daf Yomi in hopes of connecting to the Rabbinic tradition, sharing a daily idea on Instagram (@dafyomiadventures). With Hadran and Sefaria, I slowly gained confidence in my skills and understanding. Now, part of the Pardes Jewish Educators Program, I can’t wait to bring this love of learning with me as I continue to pass it on to my future students.

Hannah-G-pic
Hannah Greenberg

Pennsylvania, United States

Attending the Siyyum in Jerusalem 26 months ago inspired me to become part of this community of learners. So many aspects of Jewish life have been illuminated by what we have learned in Seder Moed. My day is not complete without daf Yomi. I am so grateful to Rabbanit Michelle and the Hadran Community.

Nancy Kolodny
Nancy Kolodny

Newton, United States

I began my Daf Yomi journey on January 5, 2020. I had never learned Talmud before. Initially it struck me as a bunch of inane and arcane details with mind bending logic. I am now smitten. Rabbanit Farber brings the page to life and I am eager to learn with her every day!

Lori Stark
Lori Stark

Highland Park, United States

I began daf yomi in January 2020 with Brachot. I had made aliya 6 months before, and one of my post-aliya goals was to complete a full cycle. As a life-long Tanach teacher, I wanted to swim from one side of the Yam shel Torah to the other. Daf yomi was also my sanity through COVID. It was the way to marking the progression of time, and feel that I could grow and accomplish while time stopped.

Leah Herzog
Leah Herzog

Givat Zev, Israel

My curiosity was peaked after seeing posts about the end of the last cycle. I am always looking for opportunities to increase my Jewish literacy & I am someone that is drawn to habit and consistency. Dinnertime includes a “Guess what I learned on the daf” segment for my husband and 18 year old twins. I also love the feelings of connection with my colleagues who are also learning.

Diana Bloom
Diana Bloom

Tampa, United States

Moed Katan 23

וְקוֹרִין שִׁבְעָה, וְיוֹצְאִין. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן קׇרְחָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא שֶׁיֵּלְכוּ וִיטַיְּילוּ בַּשּׁוּק, אֶלָּא יוֹשְׁבִין וְדָוִוין.

and seven people read from the Torah. And then they leave and pray on their own. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korḥa says: It is not that they stroll afterward in the marketplace, but rather they sit at home in silent mourning.

וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל. אָמְרוּ עָלָיו עַל רַבִּי חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל שֶׁהָיָה אוֹמֵר שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל.

And furthermore, one may not speak about halakha or aggada in a house of mourning, as this is an activity that brings people joy. It was said of Rabbi Ḥananya ben Gamliel that he would speak about halakha and aggada in a house of mourning.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁנִיָּה — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, רְבִיעִית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

§ The Sages taught the following baraita: During the first week after his bereavement, the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. During the second week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the third week, he may sit in his usual place but he may not speak. During the fourth week, he is like any other person.

רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא הוּצְרְכוּ לוֹמַר שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה לֹא יֵצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַכֹּל נִכְנָסִין לְבֵיתוֹ לְנַחֲמוֹ. אֶלָּא: שְׁנִיָּה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, רְבִיעִית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, חֲמִישִׁית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

Rabbi Yehuda says: They did not need to say that during the first week the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. This teaches us nothing new, as at that time everyone goes into his house to console him. Rather, during the second week, he may not go out of the opening of his house. During the third week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the fourth week, he may sit in his usual place, but he may not speak. During the fifth week, he is like any other person.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לַנִּישּׂוּאִין. מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ — אָסוּר לִישָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ עָלָיו שְׁלֹשָׁה רְגָלִים. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: רֶגֶל רִאשׁוֹן וְשֵׁנִי — אָסוּר, שְׁלִישִׁי — מוּתָּר.

§ The Sages taught another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to marry. If one’s wife died, it is prohibited to marry another wife until three Festivals pass since her death. Rabbi Yehuda says: Until the first and second Festivals have passed, he is prohibited from marrying; before the third Festival, however, he is permitted to do so.

וְאִם אֵין לוֹ בָּנִים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִשּׁוּם בִּיטּוּל פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה. הִנִּיחָה לוֹ בָּנִים קְטַנִּים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִפְּנֵי פַרְנָסָתָן.

And if he does not have children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately due to the need to not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. Since he has not yet fulfilled the mitzva of procreation, he is still required to marry a wife. Any delay might result in a lost opportunity for marriage. Similarly, if his wife died and left him young children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately, so that she might take care of them.

מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁמֵּתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל יוֹסֵף הַכֹּהֵן, וְאָמַר לַאֲחוֹתָהּ בְּבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת: לְכִי וּפַרְנְסִי אֶת בְּנֵי אֲחוֹתֵךְ, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן לֹא בָּא עָלֶיהָ אֶלָּא לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה. מַאי לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם.

There was an incident when the wife of Yosef the Priest died, and he said to her sister at the cemetery immediately after the funeral: Go and care for your sister’s children. In other words, he alluded that he wished to marry her immediately. But even though he married her immediately, he did not engage in sexual relations with her for a long time afterward. The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the term: A long time? Rav Pappa said: After thirty days.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לְגִיהוּץ, אֶחָד כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים וְאֶחָד כֵּלִים יְשָׁנִים יוֹצְאִין מִתּוֹךְ הַמַּכְבֵּשׁ. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים בִּלְבָד. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים לְבָנִים בִּלְבָד.

§ The Sages taught yet another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to wear ironed garments, whether they are new garments or old garments taken out of the press, as ironed garments appear to be new. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi disagrees and says: The Sages prohibited wearing only new garments. Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, says: They prohibited wearing only new white garments.

אַבָּיֵי נָפֵיק בִּגְרָדָא דְסַרְבָּלָא כְּרַבִּי. רָבָא נָפֵיק בְּחִימּוּצְתָּא רוֹמִיתָא סוּמַּקְתָּא חַדְתִּי כְּרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן.

The Gemara relates that Abaye went out while he was in mourning in an old white garment, in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi. Rava, on the other hand, went out in a new, red Roman cloak, as he acted in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon.

מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמְרוּ: שַׁבָּת עוֹלָה וְאֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת. בְּנֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְנֵי גָלִילָא. הָנֵי אָמְרִי:

It was taught in the mishna: This is because the Sages said that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, but it does not interrupt the mourning period, which continues after Shabbat. It is stated that with regard to mourning on Shabbat, there is a difference in practice between the residents of Judea and the residents of the Galilee. These say:

יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וְהָנֵי אָמְרִי: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת.

There is some mourning on Shabbat, i.e., with regard to mourning rites that can be observed privately in the mourner’s home and will go unnoticed by other people; whereas those say: There is no mourning on Shabbat at all.

מַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״. מַאן דְּאָמַר אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara explains: The ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat rely on that which is taught, that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that some degree of mourning applies on that day. The ones who said that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all base this on that which is taught that Shabbat does not interrupt the mourning period.

אִי סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הַשְׁתָּא אֲבֵילוּת נָהֲגָא, אַפְסוֹקֵי מִיבַּעְיָא?

The latter argue as follows: If it should enter your mind to say that there is some mourning on Shabbat, there is a difficulty, for now that it has been stated that actual mourning applies on Shabbat, is it necessary to teach us that this day does not interrupt the mourning period? Rather, the conclusion must be that there is no mourning on Shabbat whatsoever.

וְאֶלָּא הָא קָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״! אַיְּידֵי דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״אֵינָן עוֹלִים״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״עוֹלָה״.

The Gemara asks: But isn’t it taught in the mishna that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that it is just like the other days of mourning, and at least some mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: Since the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the days of a Festival do not count toward the requisite days of mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, although no mourning rites are practiced on it.

וּלְמַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הָא קָתָנֵי אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת! מִשּׁוּם דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״מַפְסִיקִין״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara asks: And according to the ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat, isn’t it taught in the mishna that it does not interrupt the mourning period, which would have been unnecessary to say if the mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: This was not necessary for itself, but due to the fact that the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the Festivals interrupt the mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat does not interrupt it.

לֵימָא כְּתַנָּאֵי: מִי שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — אוֹכֵל בְּבַיִת אַחֵר. אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת אַחֵר — אוֹכֵל בְּבֵית חֲבֵרוֹ, אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת חֲבֵרוֹ — עוֹשֶׂה לוֹ מְחִיצָה עֲשָׂרָה טְפָחִים. אֵין לוֹ דָּבָר לַעֲשׂוֹת מְחִיצָה — מַחְזִיר פָּנָיו וְאוֹכֵל.

The Gemara asks: Let us say that this is parallel to a dispute between tanna’im with regard to whether or not some mourning rites are observed even on Shabbat, for it was taught in a baraita: One whose deceased relative is laid out before him eats in another room. If he does not have another room, he eats in the house of a friend. If he does not have a friend’s house available, he makes a partition ten handbreadths high between him and the deceased, so that he may eat. If he does not have material with which to make a partition, he averts his face from the dead and eats.

וְאֵינוֹ מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וְאֵין מְבָרֵךְ וְאֵין מְזַמֵּן, וְאֵין מְבָרְכִין עָלָיו וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וּפָטוּר מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה וּמִן הַתְּפִילִּין, וּמִכׇּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה.

And in any case, he does not recline while he eats, as reclining is characteristic of a festive meal; and he neither eats meat nor drinks wine; and he does not recite a blessing before eating to exempt others from their obligation; and he does not recite the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and they do not recite a blessing over him nor do others invite him to join in the Grace after Meals, as he cannot be a member of the three required to recite the formula. And he is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from the Amida prayer, and from donning phylacteries, and from performing all of the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

וּבְשַׁבָּת — מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וּמְבָרֵךְ וּמְזַמֵּן, וּמְבָרְכִין וּמְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וְחַיָּיב בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּבִתְפִילָּה וּבִתְפִילִּין, וּבְכׇל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה. רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר: מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁנִּתְחַיֵּיב בְּאֵלּוּ — נִתְחַיֵּיב בְּכוּלָּן.

But on Shabbat he reclines at the meal, as per his custom, and eats; and he eats meat and drinks wine; and he recites blessings to exempt others from their obligation; and he recites the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and others may recite blessings on his behalf and invite him to join in the Grace after Meals. And he is also obligated in the recitation of Shema, and in the Amida prayer, and in the mitzva of phylacteries, and in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah. Rabban Gamliel says: Since he is obligated to fulfill these mitzvot associated with Shabbat, he is obligated to fulfill all of the mitzvot on Shabbat.

וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: תַּשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה אִיכָּא בֵּינַיְיהוּ.

Rabban Gamliel’s statement is vague. The following clarifies it: Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The practical difference between them, the opinion of the anonymous first tanna and Rabbi Yoḥanan’s opinion, is with regard to sexual relations. According to Rabban Gamliel, the acute mourner is obligated in the mitzva to engage in marital intercourse with his wife on Shabbat, just as he is obligated in all the other mitzvot.

מַאי לָאו בְּהָא קָא מִיפַּלְגִי, דְּמָר סָבַר: יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וּמַר סָבַר: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת!

The Gemara asks: What, is it not with regard to this issue that they disagree: Is it not that one Sage, the anonymous first tanna, holds that there is some mourning on Shabbat with regard to private issues, and therefore the mourner does not engage in sexual relations; and one Sage, Rabban Gamliel, holds that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all?

מִמַּאי? דִּלְמָא עַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר תַּנָּא קַמָּא הָתָם, אֶלָּא מִשּׁוּם דְּמֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּאֵין מֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — לָא.

The Gemara rejects this argument: From where do you reach this conclusion? Perhaps the first tanna is saying that it is prohibited for the grieving relative to engage in sexual relations in the case dealt with only there, because his deceased relative is laid out before him and has not yet been buried. But here, with regard to the period of mourning, when his dead has been buried and is no longer laid out before him, sexual relations are not prohibited.

וְעַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָתָם, דְּאַכַּתִּי לָא חָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּחָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ — הָכִי נָמֵי.

And alternatively, perhaps Rabban Gamliel is saying that the grieving relative is permitted to engage in sexual relations only there, where the halakhot of mourning have not yet taken effect, as mourning begins only after the burial. But here, where the halakhot of mourning have already taken effect, he may also prohibit sexual relations.

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