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Moed Katan 23

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Summary

Today’s daf is dedicated by Debbie Gevir and her husband Yossi, in memory of Shimon ben Feiga Rayzel and Chaim Aryeh who passed away just as last Shabbat ended. “My uncle Shimmy was brilliant and talented with a strong love for Judaism, classical music, boating…and a great zest for life. He chose a different path than his orthodox family, becoming a prominent Reform Rabbi. He and his wife Judy -שתיבדל לחיים ארוכים always remained ever so respectful loving and close to his parents, sister- my mother, and to us. I already miss you, Uncle Shimmy and will always treasure the time we spent together throughout my life.” 

Today’s daf is sponsored by Amy Goldstein in loving memory of her father, Melvyn Sydney Goldstein, on his 2nd yahrzeit. “We miss him. He was taken from us too swiftly. May his neshama have an aliyah.”

What are the rules of mourning for the community when a nasi dies? When a mourner finishes shiva, what are the stages one goes through week by week gradually getting life back to normal? How long after one’s wife dies can one remarry? On what does it depend? One doesn’t wear ironed clothes during shloshim. What clothes are included/not included in this prohibition? There is a debate about whether private mourning practices can be observed on Shabbat. How does each one prove his opinion from the wording of the Mishna? Is this debate between Amoraim also a tannaitic debate between the rabbis and Rabban Gamliel?

Moed Katan 23

וְקוֹרִין שִׁבְעָה, וְיוֹצְאִין. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן קׇרְחָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא שֶׁיֵּלְכוּ וִיטַיְּילוּ בַּשּׁוּק, אֶלָּא יוֹשְׁבִין וְדָוִוין.

and seven people read from the Torah. And then they leave and pray on their own. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korḥa says: It is not that they stroll afterward in the marketplace, but rather they sit at home in silent mourning.

וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל. אָמְרוּ עָלָיו עַל רַבִּי חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל שֶׁהָיָה אוֹמֵר שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל.

And furthermore, one may not speak about halakha or aggada in a house of mourning, as this is an activity that brings people joy. It was said of Rabbi Ḥananya ben Gamliel that he would speak about halakha and aggada in a house of mourning.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁנִיָּה — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, רְבִיעִית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

§ The Sages taught the following baraita: During the first week after his bereavement, the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. During the second week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the third week, he may sit in his usual place but he may not speak. During the fourth week, he is like any other person.

רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא הוּצְרְכוּ לוֹמַר שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה לֹא יֵצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַכֹּל נִכְנָסִין לְבֵיתוֹ לְנַחֲמוֹ. אֶלָּא: שְׁנִיָּה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, רְבִיעִית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, חֲמִישִׁית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

Rabbi Yehuda says: They did not need to say that during the first week the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. This teaches us nothing new, as at that time everyone goes into his house to console him. Rather, during the second week, he may not go out of the opening of his house. During the third week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the fourth week, he may sit in his usual place, but he may not speak. During the fifth week, he is like any other person.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לַנִּישּׂוּאִין. מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ — אָסוּר לִישָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ עָלָיו שְׁלֹשָׁה רְגָלִים. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: רֶגֶל רִאשׁוֹן וְשֵׁנִי — אָסוּר, שְׁלִישִׁי — מוּתָּר.

§ The Sages taught another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to marry. If one’s wife died, it is prohibited to marry another wife until three Festivals pass since her death. Rabbi Yehuda says: Until the first and second Festivals have passed, he is prohibited from marrying; before the third Festival, however, he is permitted to do so.

וְאִם אֵין לוֹ בָּנִים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִשּׁוּם בִּיטּוּל פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה. הִנִּיחָה לוֹ בָּנִים קְטַנִּים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִפְּנֵי פַרְנָסָתָן.

And if he does not have children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately due to the need to not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. Since he has not yet fulfilled the mitzva of procreation, he is still required to marry a wife. Any delay might result in a lost opportunity for marriage. Similarly, if his wife died and left him young children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately, so that she might take care of them.

מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁמֵּתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל יוֹסֵף הַכֹּהֵן, וְאָמַר לַאֲחוֹתָהּ בְּבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת: לְכִי וּפַרְנְסִי אֶת בְּנֵי אֲחוֹתֵךְ, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן לֹא בָּא עָלֶיהָ אֶלָּא לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה. מַאי לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם.

There was an incident when the wife of Yosef the Priest died, and he said to her sister at the cemetery immediately after the funeral: Go and care for your sister’s children. In other words, he alluded that he wished to marry her immediately. But even though he married her immediately, he did not engage in sexual relations with her for a long time afterward. The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the term: A long time? Rav Pappa said: After thirty days.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לְגִיהוּץ, אֶחָד כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים וְאֶחָד כֵּלִים יְשָׁנִים יוֹצְאִין מִתּוֹךְ הַמַּכְבֵּשׁ. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים בִּלְבָד. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים לְבָנִים בִּלְבָד.

§ The Sages taught yet another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to wear ironed garments, whether they are new garments or old garments taken out of the press, as ironed garments appear to be new. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi disagrees and says: The Sages prohibited wearing only new garments. Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, says: They prohibited wearing only new white garments.

אַבָּיֵי נָפֵיק בִּגְרָדָא דְסַרְבָּלָא כְּרַבִּי. רָבָא נָפֵיק בְּחִימּוּצְתָּא רוֹמִיתָא סוּמַּקְתָּא חַדְתִּי כְּרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן.

The Gemara relates that Abaye went out while he was in mourning in an old white garment, in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi. Rava, on the other hand, went out in a new, red Roman cloak, as he acted in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon.

מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמְרוּ: שַׁבָּת עוֹלָה וְאֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת. בְּנֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְנֵי גָלִילָא. הָנֵי אָמְרִי:

It was taught in the mishna: This is because the Sages said that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, but it does not interrupt the mourning period, which continues after Shabbat. It is stated that with regard to mourning on Shabbat, there is a difference in practice between the residents of Judea and the residents of the Galilee. These say:

יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וְהָנֵי אָמְרִי: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת.

There is some mourning on Shabbat, i.e., with regard to mourning rites that can be observed privately in the mourner’s home and will go unnoticed by other people; whereas those say: There is no mourning on Shabbat at all.

מַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״. מַאן דְּאָמַר אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara explains: The ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat rely on that which is taught, that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that some degree of mourning applies on that day. The ones who said that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all base this on that which is taught that Shabbat does not interrupt the mourning period.

אִי סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הַשְׁתָּא אֲבֵילוּת נָהֲגָא, אַפְסוֹקֵי מִיבַּעְיָא?

The latter argue as follows: If it should enter your mind to say that there is some mourning on Shabbat, there is a difficulty, for now that it has been stated that actual mourning applies on Shabbat, is it necessary to teach us that this day does not interrupt the mourning period? Rather, the conclusion must be that there is no mourning on Shabbat whatsoever.

וְאֶלָּא הָא קָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״! אַיְּידֵי דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״אֵינָן עוֹלִים״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״עוֹלָה״.

The Gemara asks: But isn’t it taught in the mishna that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that it is just like the other days of mourning, and at least some mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: Since the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the days of a Festival do not count toward the requisite days of mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, although no mourning rites are practiced on it.

וּלְמַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הָא קָתָנֵי אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת! מִשּׁוּם דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״מַפְסִיקִין״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara asks: And according to the ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat, isn’t it taught in the mishna that it does not interrupt the mourning period, which would have been unnecessary to say if the mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: This was not necessary for itself, but due to the fact that the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the Festivals interrupt the mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat does not interrupt it.

לֵימָא כְּתַנָּאֵי: מִי שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — אוֹכֵל בְּבַיִת אַחֵר. אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת אַחֵר — אוֹכֵל בְּבֵית חֲבֵרוֹ, אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת חֲבֵרוֹ — עוֹשֶׂה לוֹ מְחִיצָה עֲשָׂרָה טְפָחִים. אֵין לוֹ דָּבָר לַעֲשׂוֹת מְחִיצָה — מַחְזִיר פָּנָיו וְאוֹכֵל.

The Gemara asks: Let us say that this is parallel to a dispute between tanna’im with regard to whether or not some mourning rites are observed even on Shabbat, for it was taught in a baraita: One whose deceased relative is laid out before him eats in another room. If he does not have another room, he eats in the house of a friend. If he does not have a friend’s house available, he makes a partition ten handbreadths high between him and the deceased, so that he may eat. If he does not have material with which to make a partition, he averts his face from the dead and eats.

וְאֵינוֹ מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וְאֵין מְבָרֵךְ וְאֵין מְזַמֵּן, וְאֵין מְבָרְכִין עָלָיו וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וּפָטוּר מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה וּמִן הַתְּפִילִּין, וּמִכׇּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה.

And in any case, he does not recline while he eats, as reclining is characteristic of a festive meal; and he neither eats meat nor drinks wine; and he does not recite a blessing before eating to exempt others from their obligation; and he does not recite the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and they do not recite a blessing over him nor do others invite him to join in the Grace after Meals, as he cannot be a member of the three required to recite the formula. And he is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from the Amida prayer, and from donning phylacteries, and from performing all of the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

וּבְשַׁבָּת — מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וּמְבָרֵךְ וּמְזַמֵּן, וּמְבָרְכִין וּמְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וְחַיָּיב בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּבִתְפִילָּה וּבִתְפִילִּין, וּבְכׇל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה. רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר: מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁנִּתְחַיֵּיב בְּאֵלּוּ — נִתְחַיֵּיב בְּכוּלָּן.

But on Shabbat he reclines at the meal, as per his custom, and eats; and he eats meat and drinks wine; and he recites blessings to exempt others from their obligation; and he recites the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and others may recite blessings on his behalf and invite him to join in the Grace after Meals. And he is also obligated in the recitation of Shema, and in the Amida prayer, and in the mitzva of phylacteries, and in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah. Rabban Gamliel says: Since he is obligated to fulfill these mitzvot associated with Shabbat, he is obligated to fulfill all of the mitzvot on Shabbat.

וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: תַּשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה אִיכָּא בֵּינַיְיהוּ.

Rabban Gamliel’s statement is vague. The following clarifies it: Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The practical difference between them, the opinion of the anonymous first tanna and Rabbi Yoḥanan’s opinion, is with regard to sexual relations. According to Rabban Gamliel, the acute mourner is obligated in the mitzva to engage in marital intercourse with his wife on Shabbat, just as he is obligated in all the other mitzvot.

מַאי לָאו בְּהָא קָא מִיפַּלְגִי, דְּמָר סָבַר: יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וּמַר סָבַר: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת!

The Gemara asks: What, is it not with regard to this issue that they disagree: Is it not that one Sage, the anonymous first tanna, holds that there is some mourning on Shabbat with regard to private issues, and therefore the mourner does not engage in sexual relations; and one Sage, Rabban Gamliel, holds that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all?

מִמַּאי? דִּלְמָא עַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר תַּנָּא קַמָּא הָתָם, אֶלָּא מִשּׁוּם דְּמֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּאֵין מֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — לָא.

The Gemara rejects this argument: From where do you reach this conclusion? Perhaps the first tanna is saying that it is prohibited for the grieving relative to engage in sexual relations in the case dealt with only there, because his deceased relative is laid out before him and has not yet been buried. But here, with regard to the period of mourning, when his dead has been buried and is no longer laid out before him, sexual relations are not prohibited.

וְעַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָתָם, דְּאַכַּתִּי לָא חָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּחָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ — הָכִי נָמֵי.

And alternatively, perhaps Rabban Gamliel is saying that the grieving relative is permitted to engage in sexual relations only there, where the halakhot of mourning have not yet taken effect, as mourning begins only after the burial. But here, where the halakhot of mourning have already taken effect, he may also prohibit sexual relations.

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Adina Hagege

Zichron Yaakov, Israel

תמיד רציתי. למדתי גמרא בבית ספר בטורונטו קנדה. עליתי ארצה ולמדתי שזה לא מקובל. הופתעתי.
יצאתי לגימלאות לפני שנתיים וזה מאפשר את המחוייבות לדף יומי.
עבורי ההתמדה בלימוד מעגן אותי בקשר שלי ליהדות. אני תמיד מחפשת ותמיד. מוצאת מקור לקשר. ללימוד חדש ומחדש. קשר עם נשים לומדות מעמיק את החוויה ומשמעותית מאוד.

Vitti Kones
Vitti Kones

מיתר, ישראל

I’ve been studying Talmud since the ’90s, and decided to take on Daf Yomi two years ago. I wanted to attempt the challenge of a day-to-day, very Jewish activity. Some days are so interesting and some days are so boring. But I’m still here.
Sarene Shanus
Sarene Shanus

Mamaroneck, NY, United States

I started learning at the beginning of this Daf Yomi cycle because I heard a lot about the previous cycle coming to an end and thought it would be a good thing to start doing. My husband had already bought several of the Koren Talmud Bavli books and they were just sitting on the shelf, not being used, so here was an opportunity to start using them and find out exactly what was in them. Loving it!

Caroline Levison
Caroline Levison

Borehamwood, United Kingdom

When I began the previous cycle, I promised myself that if I stuck with it, I would reward myself with a trip to Israel. Little did I know that the trip would involve attending the first ever women’s siyum and being inspired by so many learners. I am now over 2 years into my second cycle and being part of this large, diverse, fascinating learning family has enhanced my learning exponentially.

Shira Krebs
Shira Krebs

Minnesota, United States

I started at the beginning of this cycle. No 1 reason, but here’s 5.
In 2019 I read about the upcoming siyum hashas.
There was a sermon at shul about how anyone can learn Talmud.
Talmud references come up when I am studying. I wanted to know more.
Yentl was on telly. Not a great movie but it’s about studying Talmud.
I went to the Hadran website: A new cycle is starting. I’m gonna do this

Denise Neapolitan
Denise Neapolitan

Cambridge, United Kingdom

I’ve been wanting to do Daf Yomi for years, but always wanted to start at the beginning and not in the middle of things. When the opportunity came in 2020, I decided: “this is now the time!” I’ve been posting my journey daily on social media, tracking my progress (#DafYomi); now it’s fully integrated into my daily routines. I’ve also inspired my partner to join, too!

Joséphine Altzman
Joséphine Altzman

Teaneck, United States

I began my journey with Rabbanit Michelle more than five years ago. My friend came up with a great idea for about 15 of us to learn the daf and one of us would summarize weekly what we learned.
It was fun but after 2-3 months people began to leave. I have continued. Since the cycle began Again I have joined the Teaneck women.. I find it most rewarding in so many ways. Thank you

Dena Heller
Dena Heller

New Jersey, United States

My family recently made Aliyah, because we believe the next chapter in the story of the Jewish people is being written here, and we want to be a part of it. Daf Yomi, on the other hand, connects me BACK, to those who wrote earlier chapters thousands of years ago. So, I feel like I’m living in the middle of this epic story. I’m learning how it all began, and looking ahead to see where it goes!
Tina Lamm
Tina Lamm

Jerusalem, Israel

The start of my journey is not so exceptional. I was between jobs and wanted to be sure to get out every day (this was before corona). Well, I was hooked after about a month and from then on only looked for work-from-home jobs so I could continue learning the Daf. Daf has been a constant in my life, though hurricanes, death, illness/injury, weddings. My new friends are Rav, Shmuel, Ruth, Joanna.
Judi Felber
Judi Felber

Raanana, Israel

I read Ilana Kurshan’s “If All the Seas Were Ink” which inspired me. Then the Women’s Siyum in Jerusalem in 2020 convinced me, I knew I had to join! I have loved it- it’s been a constant in my life daily, many of the sugiyot connect to our lives. My family and friends all are so supportive. It’s incredible being part of this community and love how diverse it is! I am so excited to learn more!

Shira Jacobowitz
Shira Jacobowitz

Jerusalem, Israel

I heard about the syium in January 2020 & I was excited to start learning then the pandemic started. Learning Daf became something to focus on but also something stressful. As the world changed around me & my family I had to adjust my expectations for myself & the world. Daf Yomi & the Hadran podcast has been something I look forward to every day. It gives me a moment of centering & Judaism daily.

Talia Haykin
Talia Haykin

Denver, United States

3 years ago, I joined Rabbanit Michelle to organize the unprecedented Siyum HaShas event in Jerusalem for thousands of women. The whole experience was so inspiring that I decided then to start learning the daf and see how I would go…. and I’m still at it. I often listen to the Daf on my bike in mornings, surrounded by both the external & the internal beauty of Eretz Yisrael & Am Yisrael!

Lisa Kolodny
Lisa Kolodny

Raanana, Israel

I start learning Daf Yomi in January 2020. The daily learning with Rabbanit Michelle has kept me grounded in this very uncertain time. Despite everything going on – the Pandemic, my personal life, climate change, war, etc… I know I can count on Hadran’s podcast to bring a smile to my face.
Deb Engel
Deb Engel

Los Angeles, United States

I started learning at the beginning of the cycle after a friend persuaded me that it would be right up my alley. I was lucky enough to learn at Rabbanit Michelle’s house before it started on zoom and it was quickly part of my daily routine. I find it so important to see for myself where halachot were derived, where stories were told and to get more insight into how the Rabbis interacted.

Deborah Dickson
Deborah Dickson

Ra’anana, Israel

I began learning the daf in January 2022. I initially “flew under the radar,” sharing my journey with my husband and a few close friends. I was apprehensive – who, me? Gemara? Now, 2 years in, I feel changed. The rigor of a daily commitment frames my days. The intellectual engagement enhances my knowledge. And the virtual community of learners has become a new family, weaving a glorious tapestry.

Gitta Jaroslawicz-Neufeld
Gitta Jaroslawicz-Neufeld

Far Rockaway, United States

Years ago, I attended the local Siyum HaShas with my high school class. It was inspiring! Through that cycle and the next one, I studied masekhtot on my own and then did “daf yomi practice.” The amazing Hadran Siyum HaShas event firmed my resolve to “really do” Daf Yomi this time. It has become a family goal. We’ve supported each other through challenges, and now we’re at the Siyum of Seder Moed!

Elisheva Brauner
Elisheva Brauner

Jerusalem, Israel

It happened without intent (so am I yotzei?!) – I watched the women’s siyum live and was so moved by it that the next morning, I tuned in to Rabbanit Michelle’s shiur, and here I am, still learning every day, over 2 years later. Some days it all goes over my head, but others I grasp onto an idea or a story, and I ‘get it’ and that’s the best feeling in the world. So proud to be a Hadran learner.

Jeanne Yael Klempner
Jeanne Yael Klempner

Zichron Yaakov, Israel

I began to learn this cycle of Daf Yomi after my husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago. It seemed a good way to connect to him. Even though I don’t know whether he would have encouraged women learning Gemara, it would have opened wonderful conversations. It also gives me more depth for understanding my frum children and grandchildren. Thank you Hadran and Rabbanit Michelle Farber!!

Harriet Hartman
Harriet Hartman

Tzur Hadassah, Israel

Moed Katan 23

וְקוֹרִין שִׁבְעָה, וְיוֹצְאִין. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן קׇרְחָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא שֶׁיֵּלְכוּ וִיטַיְּילוּ בַּשּׁוּק, אֶלָּא יוֹשְׁבִין וְדָוִוין.

and seven people read from the Torah. And then they leave and pray on their own. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korḥa says: It is not that they stroll afterward in the marketplace, but rather they sit at home in silent mourning.

וְאֵין אוֹמְרִים שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל. אָמְרוּ עָלָיו עַל רַבִּי חֲנַנְיָה בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל שֶׁהָיָה אוֹמֵר שְׁמוּעָה וְאַגָּדָה בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל.

And furthermore, one may not speak about halakha or aggada in a house of mourning, as this is an activity that brings people joy. It was said of Rabbi Ḥananya ben Gamliel that he would speak about halakha and aggada in a house of mourning.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אָבֵל, שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁנִיָּה — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, רְבִיעִית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

§ The Sages taught the following baraita: During the first week after his bereavement, the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. During the second week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the third week, he may sit in his usual place but he may not speak. During the fourth week, he is like any other person.

רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: לֹא הוּצְרְכוּ לוֹמַר שַׁבָּת רִאשׁוֹנָה לֹא יֵצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַכֹּל נִכְנָסִין לְבֵיתוֹ לְנַחֲמוֹ. אֶלָּא: שְׁנִיָּה — אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא מִפֶּתַח בֵּיתוֹ, שְׁלִישִׁית — יוֹצֵא וְאֵינוֹ יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ, רְבִיעִית — יוֹשֵׁב בִּמְקוֹמוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר, חֲמִישִׁית — הֲרֵי הוּא כְּכׇל אָדָם.

Rabbi Yehuda says: They did not need to say that during the first week the mourner may not go out of the opening of his house. This teaches us nothing new, as at that time everyone goes into his house to console him. Rather, during the second week, he may not go out of the opening of his house. During the third week, he may go out, but he may not sit in his usual place in the synagogue. During the fourth week, he may sit in his usual place, but he may not speak. During the fifth week, he is like any other person.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לַנִּישּׂוּאִין. מֵתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ — אָסוּר לִישָּׂא אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ עָלָיו שְׁלֹשָׁה רְגָלִים. רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: רֶגֶל רִאשׁוֹן וְשֵׁנִי — אָסוּר, שְׁלִישִׁי — מוּתָּר.

§ The Sages taught another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to marry. If one’s wife died, it is prohibited to marry another wife until three Festivals pass since her death. Rabbi Yehuda says: Until the first and second Festivals have passed, he is prohibited from marrying; before the third Festival, however, he is permitted to do so.

וְאִם אֵין לוֹ בָּנִים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִשּׁוּם בִּיטּוּל פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה. הִנִּיחָה לוֹ בָּנִים קְטַנִּים — מוּתָּר לִישָּׂא לְאַלְתַּר מִפְּנֵי פַרְנָסָתָן.

And if he does not have children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately due to the need to not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. Since he has not yet fulfilled the mitzva of procreation, he is still required to marry a wife. Any delay might result in a lost opportunity for marriage. Similarly, if his wife died and left him young children, he is permitted to marry another wife immediately, so that she might take care of them.

מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁמֵּתָה אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל יוֹסֵף הַכֹּהֵן, וְאָמַר לַאֲחוֹתָהּ בְּבֵית הַקְּבָרוֹת: לְכִי וּפַרְנְסִי אֶת בְּנֵי אֲחוֹתֵךְ, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן לֹא בָּא עָלֶיהָ אֶלָּא לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה. מַאי לִזְמַן מְרוּבֶּה? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: לְאַחַר שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם.

There was an incident when the wife of Yosef the Priest died, and he said to her sister at the cemetery immediately after the funeral: Go and care for your sister’s children. In other words, he alluded that he wished to marry her immediately. But even though he married her immediately, he did not engage in sexual relations with her for a long time afterward. The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the term: A long time? Rav Pappa said: After thirty days.

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: כׇּל שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם לְגִיהוּץ, אֶחָד כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים וְאֶחָד כֵּלִים יְשָׁנִים יוֹצְאִין מִתּוֹךְ הַמַּכְבֵּשׁ. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים בִּלְבָד. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמֵר: לֹא אָסְרוּ אֶלָּא כֵּלִים חֲדָשִׁים לְבָנִים בִּלְבָד.

§ The Sages taught yet another baraita: During the entire thirty-day period of mourning, it is prohibited to wear ironed garments, whether they are new garments or old garments taken out of the press, as ironed garments appear to be new. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi disagrees and says: The Sages prohibited wearing only new garments. Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, says: They prohibited wearing only new white garments.

אַבָּיֵי נָפֵיק בִּגְרָדָא דְסַרְבָּלָא כְּרַבִּי. רָבָא נָפֵיק בְּחִימּוּצְתָּא רוֹמִיתָא סוּמַּקְתָּא חַדְתִּי כְּרַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן.

The Gemara relates that Abaye went out while he was in mourning in an old white garment, in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi. Rava, on the other hand, went out in a new, red Roman cloak, as he acted in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon.

מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאָמְרוּ: שַׁבָּת עוֹלָה וְאֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת. בְּנֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְנֵי גָלִילָא. הָנֵי אָמְרִי:

It was taught in the mishna: This is because the Sages said that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, but it does not interrupt the mourning period, which continues after Shabbat. It is stated that with regard to mourning on Shabbat, there is a difference in practice between the residents of Judea and the residents of the Galilee. These say:

יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וְהָנֵי אָמְרִי: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת.

There is some mourning on Shabbat, i.e., with regard to mourning rites that can be observed privately in the mourner’s home and will go unnoticed by other people; whereas those say: There is no mourning on Shabbat at all.

מַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״. מַאן דְּאָמַר אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, דְּקָתָנֵי ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara explains: The ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat rely on that which is taught, that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that some degree of mourning applies on that day. The ones who said that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all base this on that which is taught that Shabbat does not interrupt the mourning period.

אִי סָלְקָא דַעְתָּךְ יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הַשְׁתָּא אֲבֵילוּת נָהֲגָא, אַפְסוֹקֵי מִיבַּעְיָא?

The latter argue as follows: If it should enter your mind to say that there is some mourning on Shabbat, there is a difficulty, for now that it has been stated that actual mourning applies on Shabbat, is it necessary to teach us that this day does not interrupt the mourning period? Rather, the conclusion must be that there is no mourning on Shabbat whatsoever.

וְאֶלָּא הָא קָתָנֵי ״עוֹלָה״! אַיְּידֵי דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״אֵינָן עוֹלִים״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״עוֹלָה״.

The Gemara asks: But isn’t it taught in the mishna that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, implying that it is just like the other days of mourning, and at least some mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: Since the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the days of a Festival do not count toward the requisite days of mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat counts as one of the days of mourning, although no mourning rites are practiced on it.

וּלְמַאן דְּאָמַר יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, הָא קָתָנֵי אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת! מִשּׁוּם דְּקָבָעֵי לְמִיתְנֵא סֵיפָא ״מַפְסִיקִין״, תְּנָא רֵישָׁא ״אֵינָהּ מַפְסֶקֶת״.

The Gemara asks: And according to the ones who said that there is some mourning on Shabbat, isn’t it taught in the mishna that it does not interrupt the mourning period, which would have been unnecessary to say if the mourning rites are practiced on it? The Gemara answers: This was not necessary for itself, but due to the fact that the mishna wished to teach in the latter clause that the Festivals interrupt the mourning, it taught also in the first clause that Shabbat does not interrupt it.

לֵימָא כְּתַנָּאֵי: מִי שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — אוֹכֵל בְּבַיִת אַחֵר. אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת אַחֵר — אוֹכֵל בְּבֵית חֲבֵרוֹ, אֵין לוֹ בַּיִת חֲבֵרוֹ — עוֹשֶׂה לוֹ מְחִיצָה עֲשָׂרָה טְפָחִים. אֵין לוֹ דָּבָר לַעֲשׂוֹת מְחִיצָה — מַחְזִיר פָּנָיו וְאוֹכֵל.

The Gemara asks: Let us say that this is parallel to a dispute between tanna’im with regard to whether or not some mourning rites are observed even on Shabbat, for it was taught in a baraita: One whose deceased relative is laid out before him eats in another room. If he does not have another room, he eats in the house of a friend. If he does not have a friend’s house available, he makes a partition ten handbreadths high between him and the deceased, so that he may eat. If he does not have material with which to make a partition, he averts his face from the dead and eats.

וְאֵינוֹ מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְאֵינוֹ שׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וְאֵין מְבָרֵךְ וְאֵין מְזַמֵּן, וְאֵין מְבָרְכִין עָלָיו וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וּפָטוּר מִקְּרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה וּמִן הַתְּפִילִּין, וּמִכׇּל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה.

And in any case, he does not recline while he eats, as reclining is characteristic of a festive meal; and he neither eats meat nor drinks wine; and he does not recite a blessing before eating to exempt others from their obligation; and he does not recite the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and they do not recite a blessing over him nor do others invite him to join in the Grace after Meals, as he cannot be a member of the three required to recite the formula. And he is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from the Amida prayer, and from donning phylacteries, and from performing all of the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

וּבְשַׁבָּת — מֵיסֵב וְאוֹכֵל, וְאוֹכֵל בָּשָׂר וְשׁוֹתֶה יַיִן, וּמְבָרֵךְ וּמְזַמֵּן, וּמְבָרְכִין וּמְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו, וְחַיָּיב בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע וּבִתְפִילָּה וּבִתְפִילִּין, וּבְכׇל מִצְוֹת הָאֲמוּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה. רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר: מִתּוֹךְ שֶׁנִּתְחַיֵּיב בְּאֵלּוּ — נִתְחַיֵּיב בְּכוּלָּן.

But on Shabbat he reclines at the meal, as per his custom, and eats; and he eats meat and drinks wine; and he recites blessings to exempt others from their obligation; and he recites the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and others may recite blessings on his behalf and invite him to join in the Grace after Meals. And he is also obligated in the recitation of Shema, and in the Amida prayer, and in the mitzva of phylacteries, and in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah. Rabban Gamliel says: Since he is obligated to fulfill these mitzvot associated with Shabbat, he is obligated to fulfill all of the mitzvot on Shabbat.

וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: תַּשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה אִיכָּא בֵּינַיְיהוּ.

Rabban Gamliel’s statement is vague. The following clarifies it: Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The practical difference between them, the opinion of the anonymous first tanna and Rabbi Yoḥanan’s opinion, is with regard to sexual relations. According to Rabban Gamliel, the acute mourner is obligated in the mitzva to engage in marital intercourse with his wife on Shabbat, just as he is obligated in all the other mitzvot.

מַאי לָאו בְּהָא קָא מִיפַּלְגִי, דְּמָר סָבַר: יֵשׁ אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת, וּמַר סָבַר: אֵין אֲבֵילוּת בְּשַׁבָּת!

The Gemara asks: What, is it not with regard to this issue that they disagree: Is it not that one Sage, the anonymous first tanna, holds that there is some mourning on Shabbat with regard to private issues, and therefore the mourner does not engage in sexual relations; and one Sage, Rabban Gamliel, holds that there is no mourning on Shabbat at all?

מִמַּאי? דִּלְמָא עַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר תַּנָּא קַמָּא הָתָם, אֶלָּא מִשּׁוּם דְּמֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּאֵין מֵתוֹ מוּטָּל לְפָנָיו — לָא.

The Gemara rejects this argument: From where do you reach this conclusion? Perhaps the first tanna is saying that it is prohibited for the grieving relative to engage in sexual relations in the case dealt with only there, because his deceased relative is laid out before him and has not yet been buried. But here, with regard to the period of mourning, when his dead has been buried and is no longer laid out before him, sexual relations are not prohibited.

וְעַד כָּאן לָא קָאָמַר רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הָתָם, דְּאַכַּתִּי לָא חָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ. אֲבָל הָכָא, דְּחָל אֲבֵילוּת עֲלֵיהּ — הָכִי נָמֵי.

And alternatively, perhaps Rabban Gamliel is saying that the grieving relative is permitted to engage in sexual relations only there, where the halakhot of mourning have not yet taken effect, as mourning begins only after the burial. But here, where the halakhot of mourning have already taken effect, he may also prohibit sexual relations.

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